Thursday, January 24, 2008

Where did my commitment go?

I had occasion to look at the calendar yesterday. As an artist I don't have to know every day of the week. I can go from day to day and not know if it is the tenth or the fifteenth. I certainly had not expected the 23rd.

Where did the first month of 2008 go? But a better question was where was I on that list of things to do in January 2008. First I had to find the list on my computer desk. Then round up all the information to do numero uno on that list: File my gross receipts tax. That meant delving through the mess on the other computer desk. Then I did what artists everywhere probably do; went back to work on the painting I was doing and thought about that abandoned list of things to do.


What happened to my resolve
Did it take a holiday
Extended beyond December
Or fall like the petals of a dying flower
Can I pick it back up?

Where did my sense of purpose go
Did it blow away with the winter winds
Freeze up in the sub-zero weather
Of all those dismal January days
And what will it take to thaw it out?

I once had this grand plan
Complete with detailed schedule
Like leaves on a tree or pages in a book
The to do's seem to have dropped like leaves
From the pages of a calendar

Time has passed by too fast
No days left to get all that done
And yet I must recommit to those abandoned tasks
Discover again my purpose and resolve
Mark down the deadlines anew
Upon the remaining days of the year

The year awaits
Wanting me to achieve
All those great things
I thought I could get done in January
(c) Jacqui Binford-Bell

Oh, and when I paused from that painting to let it dry a bit I sat down and wrote the poem above. The list of things to do? Where exactly did I put that? Well, at least this blog is a break from politics. Though I am reminded by looking at that calendar that Super Tuesday for primaries falls on Mardi Gras. I wonder what sort of costume I should wear to vote: A court jester?