Sunday, December 12, 2010

Thank You, HP, for Totally Ruining My Month

It was this or a rendering of the Spanish Inquisition. HP has be raped and strapped to the rack and is holding me hostage. I either have to wait for them to deliver the replacement for their faulty desktop or wait for them to give me a refund (5 to 10 days to process). The first way I don't get a computer before the 30th of December. And the latter way I don't get the money to buy a new computer before it is too late to get one before the end of the year from another computer company.

HP management is very fond of the word escalate, which too me brings to mind wars and hostility. And yes I am hostile now because I seem to be the only one escalating. They seem to move on at their funeral dirge pace. So I went to Wiktionary and looked up the word. Please note that definition one is my understanding.

to escalate (third-person singular simple present escalates, present participle escalating, simple past and past participle escalated) (transitive and intransitive)
  1. to increase (something) in extent or intensity; to intensify or step up
    Violence escalated during the election.
    The shooting escalated the existing hostility.

  2. in technical support, to transfer a telephone caller to the next higher level of authority
    The tech 1 escalated the caller to a tech 2

 HP has definitely escalated the hostility I feel for them at this point. They have been playing with my $800 without payment of interest. All other on line companies do not take the money from your account until they ship. So technically HP ought to have credited me the money back when I returned the non-working computer and then not taken it back out until they shipped the new (hopefully working) computer. But no. They gave me a $70 credit for my time fighting with their faulty computer this call but that does not get put into my account until 5 to 10 days after they ship my new computer (hopefully a working HP Pavilion).

Nothing seems to escalate the pace at which HP is handling their problem. And make no mistake it is their problem. They built and shipped a faulty computer. May I, HP Management, suggest another word - Expedite. Once you escalated my problem (which is fact your problem) you should have expedited my claim of faulty manufacturing and expedited the shipment of a replacement to me.

to expedite (third-person singular simple present expedites, present participle expediting, simple past and past participle expedited)
  1. (transitive) To accelerate the progress of.
    He expedited the search by alphabetizing the papers.

  2. (transitive) To perform (a task) fast and efficiently.

Your people do not perform fast and efficiently. I will be without a computer for 24 days longer than necessary. A company computer that should be updatng my website during the holiday season, that is needed for preparation of end of the year paperwork and tax documents, that should be available for photo editing to prepare submissions to spring and summer fairs (my bread and butter). But not only do I not have a working computer capable of such tasks but you won't ship it till the 28th of December.

In point of fact you are also making it impossible for me to get a refund and order another brand of computer in any faster time frame. You have ruined December and are well on your way to ruining half of the new year, because your build of a grossly inferior product has put me 30 days behind at the least.

Don't expect me to ever purchase another HP. You have escalated this issue to total hostilities as far as I am concerned.

PS - I used to work for corporate American and I know how the game is played. What I totally understand as a small business owner is that it is not a game from our point of view. And even if you think you have won all these little escalations you have ultimately lost the battle.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Why, HP, Must I Be Punished

I all fairness let me first say I am not really neutral on computers right not. I have been dealing for over a month with a three year old HP desktop computer that a local nerd, in the business to save computers, killed after losing 3 years of data.

Yes, I backed up, but to an external hard drive that failed. So I was forced to go shopping for a computer when I did not have the time nor the money. Nor quite frankly was I feeling warm and fuzzy about the boxes or the people that worked on them. But computer shopping I had to do. I am a small business and while I have a laptop for play I need the desktop for lots of year end business stuff and beginning of the new year submissions of art for fairs throughout 2011.

HP had a cyber Monday sale that extended through the following Tuesday and I found a computer, that while not the one of my dreams, met my minimum requirements, fit my budget and would be delivered within a week. The HP Pavilion arrived on December 6th and I unpacked and plugged it in. Suffice it to say I am not a novice at this, but the HP computer with Windows 7 would not boot up so I called tech support and was shocked to find that in spite of all promises to move their tech support back to the United States they are in Manila.

After 2 1/2 hours of trying to become belatedly bilingual I threw in the towel. The HP desktop would not even complete a short smart disk check and would not even begin a long one. I asked to speak to a supervisor. NOW. That took about 10 minutes of waiting. The supervisor, after getting my summation of the problem, wanted to refer the matter to a case manager (they are in the US) so they could get approval to repair my brand new, non-functioning HP computer.

Up to this point (well, accept for the NOW demand) I had been rather nice in spite of carpel tunnel from hitting F8, F9, F10, and F11 keys while rebooting. But repairing the HP Pavilion was not my problem. I bought and paid for a working computer not a repaired computer. They played broken record that they could not okay this. I played broken record that the only acceptable solution was a brand new working computer or a full and immediate refund. The Case Manager would call me back before 48 hours. I could only think of all the files that had to be rebuilt before the end of the year for my small business. Tick Tock.

Twenty-four hours, and two case report reference numbers, later I was called by a case manager. And like being in a doctor's office I had to again repeat all the symptoms of my still born HP Pavilion. I think they had the file in front of them and were looking for any discrepancies so they could negate my claim. Ok, I was getting paranoid. They did approve a new computer which they told me would be $35 more expensive. "Oh, no you don't," I said in a voice that made all the fur kids run and hide, "You eat that." We compromised on $5.35. Let them win the little issues.

I packed up the HP computer in its original box, printed out the approved pre-paid return label and dropped it off at the designated Fedex pick up spot. HP got it the next morning. Time was of the essence because I was informed they would not build my new replacement computer until the non-working HP was returned even though they have kept my money. I was pleased this morning to see they had processed my order. Build Date: December 28th! Maybe.

So I have two questions, HP. One, is why am I being punished for your errors on this Pavilion Desktop? And two, given that I would go pencil and paper before I went Dell, which computer company do I go to when I want to replace my HP Pavilion Laptop? Currently you are out of the running.

Customers used to be right. Now we have to prove we are not guilty and we are still punished via time and money for our mistakes. This mistake, HP, could cost me way through next June because of the fairs and exhibits I cannot apply for because through no fault of my own my old HP failed and my purchase new HP was trash. And your response to a small business owner that used your products has been hostile and frustrating.