Sunday, December 12, 2010

Thank You, HP, for Totally Ruining My Month

It was this or a rendering of the Spanish Inquisition. HP has be raped and strapped to the rack and is holding me hostage. I either have to wait for them to deliver the replacement for their faulty desktop or wait for them to give me a refund (5 to 10 days to process). The first way I don't get a computer before the 30th of December. And the latter way I don't get the money to buy a new computer before it is too late to get one before the end of the year from another computer company.

HP management is very fond of the word escalate, which too me brings to mind wars and hostility. And yes I am hostile now because I seem to be the only one escalating. They seem to move on at their funeral dirge pace. So I went to Wiktionary and looked up the word. Please note that definition one is my understanding.

to escalate (third-person singular simple present escalates, present participle escalating, simple past and past participle escalated) (transitive and intransitive)
  1. to increase (something) in extent or intensity; to intensify or step up
    Violence escalated during the election.
    The shooting escalated the existing hostility.

  2. in technical support, to transfer a telephone caller to the next higher level of authority
    The tech 1 escalated the caller to a tech 2

 HP has definitely escalated the hostility I feel for them at this point. They have been playing with my $800 without payment of interest. All other on line companies do not take the money from your account until they ship. So technically HP ought to have credited me the money back when I returned the non-working computer and then not taken it back out until they shipped the new (hopefully working) computer. But no. They gave me a $70 credit for my time fighting with their faulty computer this call but that does not get put into my account until 5 to 10 days after they ship my new computer (hopefully a working HP Pavilion).

Nothing seems to escalate the pace at which HP is handling their problem. And make no mistake it is their problem. They built and shipped a faulty computer. May I, HP Management, suggest another word - Expedite. Once you escalated my problem (which is fact your problem) you should have expedited my claim of faulty manufacturing and expedited the shipment of a replacement to me.

to expedite (third-person singular simple present expedites, present participle expediting, simple past and past participle expedited)
  1. (transitive) To accelerate the progress of.
    He expedited the search by alphabetizing the papers.

  2. (transitive) To perform (a task) fast and efficiently.

Your people do not perform fast and efficiently. I will be without a computer for 24 days longer than necessary. A company computer that should be updatng my website during the holiday season, that is needed for preparation of end of the year paperwork and tax documents, that should be available for photo editing to prepare submissions to spring and summer fairs (my bread and butter). But not only do I not have a working computer capable of such tasks but you won't ship it till the 28th of December.

In point of fact you are also making it impossible for me to get a refund and order another brand of computer in any faster time frame. You have ruined December and are well on your way to ruining half of the new year, because your build of a grossly inferior product has put me 30 days behind at the least.

Don't expect me to ever purchase another HP. You have escalated this issue to total hostilities as far as I am concerned.

PS - I used to work for corporate American and I know how the game is played. What I totally understand as a small business owner is that it is not a game from our point of view. And even if you think you have won all these little escalations you have ultimately lost the battle.